Weird Competitive Sports Alternatives
Ok, your here on this site so you are obviously looking to get in the best shape of your life but you are feeling like you’re gonna need some type of event to train for in hopes that it will help in sustaining your motivation. So this is where the Hynetwork team ( because we care about you ) goes out into the World Wide Web to reveal to you some competitive sporting categories you might not be aware of.
This time we are checking out the “weird competitive sports” category. One of our favorites by the way. Just be warned some of these are only for the highly skilled and should be consider very dangerous, especially if you are a beginner, so make sure you know you’re limitations and proceed accordingly like you would with any physical endeavor.
This is also a reminder that with all this work you plan on doing to get yourself in shape, it’s a good ideal to also have some kind of a goal and that having fun is also allowed. Here goes…
1.) Gurning contest: Quasimodos from around the world compete to see who can make the funniest face.
The cool thing about this sport is that it makes what has always seemed like a bad thing… a good thing.
2.) Extreme Ironing: It’s all about who can iron in the most remote/dangerous place possible. People say I’m weird for not owning an iron, but, I mean, this is way weirder, right? (Please tell my mom you agree.)
This guy is obviously cheating… the real extreme ironing pros don’t use ropes. Ironic isn’t it.
3.) Wife carrying: The man who carries wife through the obstacles the fastest gets the lady’s weight in beer. Grown-ass men only, please.
Just make sure it’s your wife!!
4.) Elephant polo: Pretty self explanatory. It’s polo on Dumbos.
No it’s Dumbos on really smart critters that deserve better…
5.) Toe wrestling: Like thumb wrestling, but presumably smellier.
Here the main thing is you got to watch out for ringworms.
6.) Camel wrestling: Like toe wrestling, but definitely smellier.
Do camels get ringworms?
7.) Buzkashi: In parts of the Middle East they like to play a game where the goal is to, while on horseback, get a goat carcasses to the other team’s side. Sounds fun?
This explains a lot.
8.) Chess-boxing: Two opponents/ combatants alternate between moving the chess pieces and beating the crud out of each other.
The only problem here is these are the only two guys in the world that can do this.
9.) Kaninhop: This is essentially equestrian events but with bunnies. Disclaimer: As small as jockeys are, there are no jockeys that can ride bunnies as if they are horses. Sorry for getting your hopes up.
This has got to be a joke… ignore
10.) Hemp Olympics: Athletes compete in ancient Bonnaroo events such as ‘joint rolling’ and ‘bong throwing’. I guess the second one is really just what they have to do when the cops show up.
Hynetwork ( pronounced: high network) is based in Colorado and this is a big pass time here. When the cops show up it’s to help direct the traffic jam.
11.) Cardboard Tube Fighting: Well so, you get a cardboard tube and you beat up other nerds up with it. The sport is surprisingly organized with the Cardboard Fighting League sponsoring games all over the Northwest.
This is the most organized sport in this category…most of the contestants go on to become millionaires.
12.) Kissing competitions: A real life, organized sport, not just a scheme Pepé Le Pew uses to try and seduce poor, uninterested cats.
This is not weird which is really weird.
13.) Woolsack Races: People of the world, I give the most British sport ever invented. A bunch of Brits get together and see who can run up a gentle slope the fastest with a giant bag of wool on their backs.
It looks like this would be a piece of cake but in last years championship event many people were killed.
14.) Man vs. Horse: This is a marathon where humans prove they are superior to horses, which arguably is already undercut by the fact that people are also riding the horses. Also horses don’t wear clothes or know what a ‘marathon’ even is.
Why does the guy in the background have what looks to be a machine gun on a tripod?
15.) Worm Charming: Whether its through shaman spells are just talking to the worms in a flirty sort of way, the only stipulation of this competition is to get as many worms out of the ground as possible.
Apparently you don’t need a spine for this.
16.) Hairiest Back Competition: Yeah, I mean you get it. I wonder if style also comes into play. Like, what if someone had back dreads?
Another making a bad thing into a good thing sport.
17.) Ferret Legging: The goal is to see who can stand the longest with two ferrets in their pants. Something tells me nobody asked the ferrets whose pants they wanted to be in if anyone’s at all.
Yikes, it could be worse … they could be Gerbils ( rim shot )
Gee, these athletes are so looney, I bet if you ask them who their favorite sports player is, they’d say Bugs Bunny when he played for the Tunesquad in Space Jam.
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Now get off your butts and start with renewed vigor that Adonis Golden Ratio workout program that will make you the envy on your block.
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